You may be dreaming of a child with chubby cheeks and cute little fingers. However, you also worry about the future and whether you can afford your future kids’ needs, education, and wants. For many couples who are just new to the relationship and are not ready to conceive, it’s important to discuss family planning, especially if everything is going serious.
Family planning is an essential conversation for those who already have a houseful of children, those who don’t want, or some who are still undecided. They might want to take things slowly and decide whether they will want one in the near future or add another brood into the mix.
Know that having children is not easy, but it will be worth it. Setting aside time to get into that “baby talk,” asking significant questions, and knowing where the conversation will end up is a crucial part of any healthy relationship.
For starters, you may need some advice from the experts, talk to your parents for insights, and know if you and your significant other are on the same page.
Starting the Conversation
How you say is essential, and what you say will affect the flow of the conversation. Your goal is to have an honest discussion about things and create a safe space for the both of you.
Talking about family planning means that both partners should feel heard and understood. This is crucial even if they are not on the same page. You may want to seek expert family planning advice in the process and know which birth control methods will suit you best afterwards. You can share your perspective and always start your sentences with “I.”
Communicate and try to validate the perspective of your partner. Switch roles and make sure that you’re also validated and heard. Be realistic at the start since having a child is a big decision that should never be taken lightly.
What If One is Not Yet Ready?
Know that others are not ready, and their reasons can be legitimate. They feel that they are still too young, and their freedom will be compromised if there’s a child. Others fear that they will not be good role models for their children, and some want more time to enjoy each other.
This is why it’s important to listen to the fears your partner may have about parenthood. An ideal time to discuss this is when you both know that the relationship is becoming serious and you both are heading into marriage.
Why Choose Family Planning?
First and foremost, family planning is one of the smartest investments in a country. When that nation strives to ensure that every child is wanted and mothers can still make space for the optimal health of their brood, it will transform the population for the better. In essence, you and your partner won’t just benefit from this, but you’ll have the whole nation to give you thanks as well.
Many children will be able to finish school, and there will be a more sustainable and flourishing economy. Rates of abortion are decreased, and many young people can benefit. You can discuss this with your partner when you choose the suitable contraceptive methods to use or safeguard your future by preventing too-early pregnancies. Read more about the importance of family planning on this page here.
Knowing the Right Time to Have a Child?
- Know you and your partners’ view about having a kid or adding one to the brood
- Determine the amount of money that’s more than enough for one child
- Learn how to balance work and life
- Babyproofing the relationship is important
- Creation of a shared future where the goals are met
What If there are Already Children?
Most of the time, many conversations happen when couples already have too many members in their family. This discussion will not hold the same weight as it once did when the relationship is new or when you found yourself in an unfavorable parenting situation. This is something that you and your partner may have different views, and both of you won’t see eye to eye.
The reality is that many individuals can change their stance on parenting once they begin to tackle life with a child, achieve work-life balance, and get into the responsibilities of adulthood. They will learn to appreciate the sacrifices of their parents, and they will be able to make a wiser decision.
However, if you and your partner are not on the same page where he wants another child, and you just want to rest for a while before having another baby, it might be good if you can go into marital counseling for once before getting into this decision. Many professionals have a lot to say when it comes to the navigation of this tricky ground.
You may want to decide on these things like:
- The reasons why you want or don’t want another kid in the family
- Do you have the financial capacity for another baby?
- Is this going to impact your career in the long run?
- Do you have health risks or complications in pregnancies?
- Are you comfortable with your child-care even if this is amidst the pandemic?
- Is this the right timing?
Avoid Succumbing to Outside Pressure
Your decision to have more children should be personal. Your immediate family, friends, or neighbors can comment, but they should not influence you in any other way. First, it’s none of their business and second, having a child is a responsibility that’s hard enough without the rigmarole of advice that you’re getting outside of your nuclear family.
Expect to deal with comments about your biological clock or feeling left out because you’re not the parent who is expecting baby number two when the other starts daycare. When talking about this decision, remember what’s right for you and your health. Give yourself time to think things through.
Make your own timeline and go with your instinct. If you have the time and are still at the height of your career, find a birth control option that will work well for you and your significant other. Give yourself a break from thinking about babies for a bit.